{"id":3454,"date":"2023-04-13T14:28:20","date_gmt":"2023-04-13T18:28:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.skypointfcu.com\/wph\/workarea\/?p=3454"},"modified":"2023-04-13T14:28:43","modified_gmt":"2023-04-13T18:28:43","slug":"5-ways-to-deal-with-money-envy","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.skypointfcu.com\/wph\/workarea\/blog\/5-ways-to-deal-with-money-envy\/","title":{"rendered":"5 Ways to Deal With Money Envy<\/strong>"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

If you\u2019ve ever scrolled through social media posts only to be gripped with envy when you see a friend posing in front of their beautiful house or enjoying themselves at a luxurious resort, then you understand how easy it is to want what other people have. Financial envy is real, and sometimes it can be ugly. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cFinancial envy is absolutely normal. It\u2019s part of the human condition,\u201d says Yvonne Hampton, who holds a doctorate in personal financial planning and runs a financial therapy practice in the Kansas City, Missouri, area.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And it\u2019s not necessarily a bad thing, she adds. \u201cIt\u2019s an opportunity to dig more deeply internally about why we have that feeling so we can work through it and be happier in our own lives.\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you\u2019re wondering how to turn the so-called green-eyed monster into a positive force in your life, here are five steps to take.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

1. Let go of shame<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cA lot of progress can be made simply by acknowledging: \u2018Yes, I feel envious,\u2019\u201d says Rick Kahler, a certified financial therapist and certified financial planner in Rapid City, South Dakota. \u201cBe compassionate toward yourself,\u201d he adds.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Then, you can more easily turn toward the concrete steps that help you meet your financial goals<\/a>, whether it\u2019s paying off debt, saving for a down payment or building up an emergency fund for greater financial security.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

2. Get specific about your triggers<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

People are more likely to feel envious of people in their own peer group versus mega-rich icons like Jeff Bezos or Oprah Winfrey, Hampton says. \u201cThose feelings are a signal: If you are envious of a neighbor getting a new car, what is that feeling?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Perhaps it\u2019s rooted in a desire to earn more money or spend your money differently. Once you figure out the cause of the feeling, then you can address it and make changes in your own life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIt can give us insight into what we really want,\u201d Hampton says. If it truly is about buying a car, then you can give yourself a savings goal<\/a> and start setting money aside each month.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3. Use envy as a motivator, not a detractor<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some forms of envy may be helpful, says Robert Leahy, author of \u201cThe Jealousy Cure\u201d and clinical professor of psychology in psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medicine. He notes that envy is visible across cultures governed by hierarchies, including with animals like dogs, and even in human toddlers. In its most positive light, envy can lead us to learn from the success of others and apply lessons to our own lives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

But it also has a dark side, stirring up feelings of inferiority and insecurity. Envy can lead to self-harm, such as cultivating feelings of hatred toward wealthy people, which can drain energy away from your own life and pursuits, said Rainer Zitelmann, a historian and sociologist and author of \u201cThe Art of a Successful Life,\u201d in an email from his home in Berlin, Germany.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Zitelmann warns that unchecked envy can easily become destructive. \u201cYou should acknowledge envy whenever you experience it, because envious people only end up harming themselves,\u201d he wrote.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

4. Recognize what you don\u2019t see<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

While your first reaction to a friend\u2019s social media posts might be envy, the truth of their situation could be far more complex than the photo suggests, Hampton points out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t know the whole story. You don\u2019t know how long they saved for that house, or how hard they worked for it, or if their parents paid for it. Maybe they\u2019re screaming at 3 a.m. about paying the mortgage<\/a>,\u201d she says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

It\u2019s easy to feel jealous of someone\u2019s public posts that showcase the highlights of their life without any of the behind-the-scenes struggle.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u201cIn all the time I\u2019ve been doing [financial therapy<\/a>], I\u2019ve never met someone who felt like they had it all. We\u2019re all dealing with something. Even if you\u2019re at the higher income spectrum, there are still challenges and these are challenging times with inflationary pressures,\u201d Hampton says.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

5. Reflect on what actually brings you joy<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Leahy suggests a thought exercise to counteract materialistic envy: \u201cImagine everything has been taken away,\u201d he says, including all of your possessions. You get one thing back at a time, but only if you can make the case that you appreciate it. That process clarifies your values, he says.  \u201cYou can see you have many different sources of satisfaction and purpose.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And in a final tip from Leahy: Think back to an experience of real contentment in your life. It might have been as simple as sitting by a lake with a friend \u2014 perhaps not an Instagrammable moment, but one that was far more meaningful.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

This article was written by NerdWallet and was originally published by The Associated Press. <\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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